Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Strange Encounters

What to do/say if you have a strange encounter with an ugly baby.  This should be avoided at all costs, like close talkers with mad halitosis, but sometimes it cannot be helped.  No matter how much you want to run far, far away.  It's too late. It can be unexpected.  Think the baby is in a baby carrier/stroller with the sun shade up.  You go in for a look at the adorable baabbyyy... agh!  Abort mission.  Abort!

1. Try to avoid direct eye contact.  This encounter could lead to nightmares.

2. Say the following in a sing songy baby voice.  Ooh, look at the baby?  Note: You did not use the words cute or adorable, but when said with that sing songy voice this will go unnoticed by the doting parents. 

3. If that isn't enough, comment on the outfit in that same baby voice, because usually baby clothes are pretty cute.  Ex. Aww, isn't that outfit just so precious! 

4. Leave, before you are found out.  You can only keep the ruse going for so long.  Your face will eventually start showing signs of complete and utter bewilderment as you desperately search for any other variable amount of cuteness and you will hang your head when you find none. 

5. Give it a few months and try again.  That might have been just a short alien phase.  All hope is not lost.  Many a beautiful person have come from not so pretty baby years. 

This is brought to you by personal experience.  You don't want to see my baby pictures.  I was not one of the cute ones.  I'm glad I didn't have to see me when I was a baby.  Phew. 

Also, side point.  Have you noticed sometimes very attractive parents have not so attractive babies?  Very average looking parents have stunningly cute babies. Not always the case, but it does happen.  You just can't predict these things.

3 comments:

Jules said...

This is HILARIOUS!!
Whenever I see an ugly baby I call it precious.
I cant bare to lie and say they are cute and/or adorable!

Taylor said...

Thank you! You get me. ;)

lady lyles said...

I pretty much died laughing AND rolled on the floor aaand all of that stuff when i read, "Give it a few months and try again."

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