To the mystery bug who bit me in my sleep: I will hunt you down and I will kill you.
Seriously, this bug is out to get me. The bites are not just in any ol' spot. No, I have two bites on one of my elbows. Awkward. The other is on the back of my ankle. They are extremely itchy, which means the one on the back of my ankle is irritated by my shoes every time I take a step. Perfect!
To make matters worse, I woke up with them. Which means this evil thing bit me in my sleep. Last night, I got into bed in a state of paranoia. Is something crawling on me?? I'm a big fan of sleep and I use to like my bed. Thanks, Bug, for ruining it for me last night. You are evil and must die!
I'm using this amazing chinese herb oil that we bought in Thailand. That stuff is a cure all for everything. Have an itch? Rub this on it. Headache? Rub this on your temples. Stomache ache? Fall out of a moving vehicle? Take a bath in this stuff. You'll be good as new. With these bites, I've been putting it on like a fiend. If one could become addicted to Thai miracle oil, I would need to be put into rehab already. It's getting down to it's last drops and I don't know what I will do, probably get all shaky and start hallucinating or just be super itchy.
Let this be a fair warning to you, my dear friend, to watch your back, because it's on like Donkey Kong.
I really hate you right now! Still talking to the bug.