Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Awkward is...

Leaving answering machine messages.  As soon as that beep goes off, my brain goes dead like Charlie Sheen's liver.  Is anybody else sick of hearing about that guy?  Why did I call again?  Certainly not to talk about Charlie Sheen.  Although, he is awkard.  I usually will sputter out some unintelligible sentences and hang up ashamed.  If I ever manage to leave a good answering machine message, it shall be a good day in history.

Folding a fitted sheet.  

Me. Cooking.  Pretty much, yeah.  Just not my thing.  I've always been more of a baker.  Although, I can make a pretty mean breakfast.  Someday I might learn to enjoy cooking.  But who doesn't love breakfast for dinner every now and then.

The salesguy when I bought my Tom's.  He said that the shoes looked great on me.  I think it would be hard for anyone to not look good in canvas slip-ons.  He also asked me if I had heard of the Muse.  And proceeded to tell me his band sounded just like them, staring at me to get my reaction.  Oh-kay.  

The Old Nepalese Grandma.  As she was leaving our little baby shower this past weekend, she slapped one guy on the face twice which she has done to me in the past.  I have no idea why we get this sort of reaction from her.  But it seems like it's because she likes us.  Then she whacked another guy's butt as she was walking out the door.  Go, Grandma!  You can get away with it now, because you are old and have no teeth.  Glad you enjoyed yourself.

Harem pants.  My sister and her friend used to pretend they were Jasmine and Aladdin.  My sister had short hair at the time and so she was always Aladdin.  It would have been appropriate for them to wear these then.  That would pretty much be the only time and it would still be awkward.

When you and another person are reaching a door at the exact same time.  You both kind of hang back trying to let the other person go through first.  Then since you are both hanging back, you both start going for the door again.  Awkward.

Trying to make conversation with painfully shy and/or awkward people.  I try to avoid it at all costs, but sometimes it cannot be helped.  I am doing all I can asking questions and they give me one word answers.  You're killing me here!

Asking someone, "How are you?"  And them replying, "I'm alive."  Well, I'm glad you are alive so we can have this awkward interchange.  It's been swell.

The lady breaking out in a jig at the bus stop.  You made me smile on my way home from work at 11pm.  Thanks.

Anyone riding a Segway.  

How many hours I've probably spent playing Angry Birds.  I don't even want to know.  Gotta get those mustachioed smirking pigs!  They are evil.  Check out this comic.

Just to name a few.


Lindsay said...

Yes, the "I'm alive" response. My reply is, "well.....that's good!" Ha. And from then on I will only say, "It's nice to see you", which is usually followed by, "well.....I'm here." hahaha

I have a lot of nicknames, my favorite is Megs. said...

Oh man! I totally occasionally say, "I'm alive" or "I'm here." But then again, if I was writing this post it would say awkward is.....most of my interactions with other humans.

Taylor said...

Lindsay -- Yes. Good responses that I have learned from you. Haha

Megs -- as long as it's only occasionally you are good. Ha.

Lindsay said...

Dude, anyone riding a Segway makes me think of G.O.B Bluth.

Taylor said...

I know which is awkward and awesome!! I've been rewatching recently!

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